Ya-Yee-Pop

Last Thursday morning was rough. Frank woke up in a mood and all the child wanted in this world was a lollipop for breakfast.

I need to preface this story with explaining my firstborn a bit. Frank feels all the things. in a big way. And Hell will freeze over before that child is dull and boring and not a roller coaster of emotions. He’s my mini-me (only he’s a lot funnier, kinder and more affectionate). Okay, back to last Thursday.

“Ya-Yee-Pop!!!!!” (read ‘lollipop’ in a 3 year-old voice)

“No, Frank. It’s 7:45 in the morning. You must eat something real for breakfast.”

“Ya-Yee-Pop!!!!!!!!” (this time add a few tears, a red face and some full body shudders for full effect. again, my child. what can I say. the kid is on point with the hysterics.)

“Frank, no. I’m not going to argue with you.”

Fast forward 15 minutes…..

“YA-YEE-POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WANT YA-YEE-POP!!!!!!!!!!!!” (full meltdown mode, crying his eyes out and stomping in place repeatedly. poor kid. no one can say he doesn’t plead his case to the ends of the earth.)

“Frank, we don’t always get what we want in life.”

“WAAAAAAANNNNNTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (screech so shrill I swear maybe only the dogs heard this one)

“Well Frank, I want a vodka cranberry, but it’s 8:00 in the morning and we can’t always have what we want.”

Frank stares at me blankly through alllll the tears.

#momfail

Rewind back to my juice cleanse at the end of August. I posted the above picture on social media.

Day 2. I thought I’d pull the “name it and claim it” method, which often works for me. Speak it out loud and the power goes away.

Spoiler alert: not this time.

I had been tempted to eat food on Day 2 of the 4 Day Cleanse. (Mind you, I successfully completed the 3 Day Cleanse way back in May. So I knew I had the willpower somewhere within me. Buried deep. Maybe.) So I shared the #struggle with social media and all my friends rose to the occasion.

“You’ve got this girl!”

“One day at a time!” 

“You’re halfway through! Don’t quit now!”

“You’re so strong! An inspiration for sure!”

Womp, womp. Not only did I not make it 4 days, I ate SHRIMP PAD THAI from the local Rice Express. I figured if I’m going to fail, at least go big or go home, right?

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

#juicecleansefail

Let’s take it even further back. Remember when the book “Fault in our Stars” came out? Holy crap. Talk about gut wrenching. I was moved. Teenage girl with terminal illness?? Hand me ALL the Kleenex boxes right. this. second.

Chip and I went to see the movie version, starring Shailene Woodley.

Sidenote: Chip has outlawed me from picking movies. Because after this one, I chose “the Shack” and “Me Before You” and I’ve officially been cut off. Chip refuses to see one more pick from my queue.

His exact words:

• during “the Shack” when the dad discovers what happened to his daughter: “This is horrible. Does it get any better?”
• after “Me Before You” as the credits began to roll: “Wait. he just DIES?! Is this the end?! What the hell is wrong with you?! Worst movie ever!”

**sigh**

Back to “Fault in Our Stars”. We saw the movie (Chip really liked this one, it was just really sad) and during the scene where Shailene gets her hair shaved off because of the chemo, I leaned over to Chip and proclaimed I would be donating my hair.

The next morning.

Fast forward to the next morning. I did cut like a billion inches off my hair. I sported the cutest little pixie cut you ever did see. But being a millenial, baby-of-the-family birth order who consequentially has terrible follow through, the hair sat in a bag in my closet. Also in the bag? The form to Locks of Love (completely filled out), along with a note to the future recipient of my beautiful red hair.

I never mailed the hair. Let me repeat that one.

I NEVER MAILED THE HAIR!!!!!!!! What the crap?!

When we moved two years ago I think it ended up in the trash. I am a terrible human being. This one still hurts when I think about it.

#selflessgesturefail

I could go on for dayzzz with all my failures because I’m not terribly ashamed of all of them.

Some of them, though? yeah. super ashamed.

Some of them are really funny and trivial and some of them give me nightmares to this day. But every single one of them made me into the woman I am right now on this journey. So while they are indeed failures, they are also turning points in my life.

God has this way of taking failures and making them beautiful. Throughout the mess I’ve made over the years, he has this way of coming alongside me, extending grace and forgiveness, and then pouring loads of redemption all over me. So these failures go from being embarrassing and shameful to part of my story that I am able to share with others.

Lessons learned from these stories:

1. Don’t reference cocktails with the 3 year old
2. If you’re going to spend stupid amounts of money at squeezedonline.com, maybe don’t eat delicious food filled with GMO’s
3. Mail the hair

Failure is all part of life. Let’s learn from it, grow from it, and then learn to maybe find the humor in some of it.

Because we never want to take ourselves too seriously, right?

And if you’re enjoying a vodka-cranberry, please do a toast for me. Meanwhile Frank and I will be toasting “ya-yee-pops” and mini cupcakes.

Cheers!